God,i pray to you now for the strength to stand today.for the courage and utmost confidence which i dearly need.for i have held in for the past 7 days,til i could hold in no longer.
after which i felt e torrent of tears overwhelm me once again,just when my defenses were low,and my mentality weak.i thought that the 7 days during which i couldn't emote properly,was a sign that i have accepted,moved on.
but as the familiar feeling gripped my heart today,i knew it was too difficult.and that i could not possibly leave behind something i've loved and cherished so wholeheartedly.something i vowed i would put my heart and soul into.
i tried my best to deny it during the past few days,and i thought i managed to persuade myself.but when i walked down e stairs today,i couldnt contain my emotions.silently,i came to terms that God gave me the ability to love and change for the someone he brought into my life.i haf tried in every way i knew how..perhaps i should have put in more...perhaps.
i didnt haf an inkling of all this until now..wonder what i should make of it all.

and i breathe you,into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today,
cos i love you,whether it's wrong or right,
and though i cant be with you tonight,
you know my heart is by ur side.